Three Years / 三周年

到今年的11月20号，已经是妈妈"术"后的整整三个年头了。在第三年里虽基本没什么大的波澜，但前几天也着实令人捏了一把汗，前一阵子，她再度遭遇不规则心跳，而且换了特罗凯后仍不见效，令我们感觉她已对已知的所有药物都产生了抗药性，就在我感到已经黔驴技穷的时候，我去了观音庙为她祈祷，神就神在这儿，令人不得不信，我求了一支签，签上说"病安"，从那以后妈妈只犯了一次心跳的毛病。奇迹啊！
感谢大慈大悲的观世音菩萨及众神和药神华佗。

This Nov 20 marked three years since Mama’s so called ‘operation’. Although nothing severe happened during this third year, the last few days turned out to be very frightening for us. She developed an irregular heart beat again, even though we had changed her medication to Tarceva. We were now feeling very discouraged. Was mama now becoming resistant to all the medications previously know to have helped? As again we felt hopeless, I went to the Guanyin Temple to pray for her. Believe it or not, She again answered us. After I came back, mama had only one further episode of irregular heart beat. Thanks to Guanyin, Huatuo, and all of the other Gods.

Mama's Dream / 妈妈的梦

妈妈在病中作过一系列的梦，有的梦十分蹊跷，我现在讲出来与大家分享：
1。 有一天，妈妈告诉我说她梦到她回到了家乡，跟外婆（已去世）在一起。她说：“在梦里，我感到外婆好像不行了。”“为什么？”“我告诉她我要回天津去的时候，她哭了，她说你再多住一天吧，明天我去送你。”“那你是怎么回答的？”“我说不行，我要赶回去。”“即使她都哭了你也还说要赶回去么?”“嗯，因为我还以为我要上班，而且在梦里我糊里糊涂地觉得你们还小，需要人照顾，你爸爸一个人也不行。”也许这个梦暗示她还没有到离开我们的时候？

2。 还有一次，她说梦到她和她的全家（既外祖母，阿姨们，舅舅们什么的）一起要去上海，那看起来应该是一次很愉快的旅行，他们聚集在码头上，船就要开了，大家都催促她快些上船，这时她忽然感到犹豫，她说是因为突然她想起了远在天津的丈夫，觉得不该把他一个人孤零零地留在家里，自己去玩。正在她犹豫的时候，船开走了；过了一会儿她决定要随她的母亲去上海，去询问下一班船什么开，工作人员告诉她刚刚开走的是最后一班船，叫她明天再来。冥冥中暗示她又一次与死神擦肩而过？

3。前几天，她忽然梦见家里有很多煤，她想我要这东西没用啊，家里是烧暖气，不是烧炉子的，煤根本派不上用场啊，要怎么办呢？她想起了一位年迈的远房亲戚，她家还用炉子，“我拿去给她吧，免得浪费。”一边想着一边背起所有的煤朝她家的方向走去，到她家后帮她一点点码起来。。。这不久后便住院了，旁边是一位奄奄一息的老妇人。。。巧合么？

Mama had some really strange dreams after she fell ill. Some are really hard to explain. Now I’d like to share them with you.

1. One day, she said she had a dream. In the dream, she saw herself go back to her hometown to visit my grandma (who had already passed away). She said to me,"In my dream, I felt your grandma’s days might be numbered."
"How did you know?"
"Because when I told her I'll leave for Tianjin, she cried. She had never cried before. She said,'today please stay. Tomorrow I'll see you off.'"
"How did you answer her?"
"I told her I can't."
"Even though she cried, you still didn't accept her request?"
"Because in my dream, I thought I still needed to work and two of you were still too young. Your father could not manage it alone."
Maybe this dream implied that her time was not up yet?

2. Her other dream was about traveling with her family (her mother, sisters and brothers etc. Most of them had passed away.) to Shanghai. It looked like a merry event. They were gathering on the pier. The boat was about to leave. They hurried her on board. At this moment, she hesitated. What came to her mind was her husband being faraway. She felt that she should not leave him alone at home and she should enjoy herself. While she was thinking, the boat left. After a while she decided to join her mother. She went to enquire about when the next boat would be arriving. She was told that just now the boat was the last ferry and they told her to come back the following day. Again, this implied to her that she had just rubbed her shoulders with the God of Death?

3. A few days ago, she had a dream related to coal (which shares the same pronunciation with the word "unlucky" in Chinese). She was thinking what on earth would I need that for? We had the central heating system to keep us warm and we didn’t even have a stove. Coal was something totally useless. What should I do with that? She thought of her distant relative, an elderly lady who was not rich and still using a stove. "I should bring it to her, otherwise it will be wasted." She carried all the coal and walked towards her house and neatly piled it up for her. Not long after that, she was hospitalized. Her roommate was an elderly woman who had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and she was about to…..Such a coincidence?

九月的检查 / Sep's Check Up

妈妈从星期一开始又住院了，这次的主要任务是作全面检查，做帕米治疗，打胸腺肽以提高其免疫力。检查结果基本令人满意，医生说跟以前比起来基本上没什么变化，看起来基本已经趋于稳定了，由此说来，生存超过五年是有可能的。白血球仍然偏低，只有3900（正常为4000以上），血钙也偏低，为2.04（正常为2.15以上），两项与癌症相关的指标，一项从原来的48降低至38.5（正常为35以下），另一项有所增加，由原来的1100+增至1300+（正常为1000以下），其他肝，肾，脾等均正常。爸爸听后很受鼓舞，他激动地跟大家分享这一好消息，然而妈妈听了很不开心，毕竟她并不完全了解她的病情。

Mama has been hospitalized since this Monday. The main purpose was to have a complete check up and have another round of pamidronate disodium treatment, injection of thymosin α1 to improve her immune system. Now the results are out and basically encouraging. Her white blood cell level, 3900, was still a bit lower than required (normal value should be above 4000), her blood calcium level was 2.04 (normal should be above 2.15), one of her cancer index dropped from 48 to 38.5 (normal should be below 35), the other increased from 1100+ to 1300+. The rest like liver, kidney and spleen etc, were all normal. From her CT scan, doctors said it looked like her condition was already getting stabilized. "This result shows it’s quite possible that she may survive beyond 5 years" The chief said. Father was so much encouraged. He couldn’t help sharing the news with others. But mama was very unhappy. Anyway, she doesn't fully know about her conditions.

妈妈生日快乐 / Happy Birthday Mama

祝妈妈在新的一年里身体更健康!

Happy Mother's Day

Mama, happy mother's day!
母亲节快乐!

Mama’s April check-up / 四月的检查

这个星期妈妈又去做了全面检查，总的来说结果还是很不错，7项癌症指标中只有两项不合格，但其中的一项已从原先的1300+降到1100+，另一项虽从44+增至48+，但医生说影响不大，这两个基本是一回事。虽然这个阶段的改善情况比起去年12月份来得不足，但医生对她的治疗结果非常满意。
感谢各路神仙！！！

Mama went for a regular check-up this week. The results came out yesterday. It was again quite encouraging. Both the white blood cell count and red cell count remain within the normal range. Her intensive brain CT scanning shows that there is no sign of any secondary spread to her brain. Her ECT scanning (for bone) shows that there is not further development since her last check-up. Her chest CT scanning shows that the affected area has slightly shrunk. Her fluid inside the chest is also reduced. One of the results for cancer index has dropped from 1300+ to 1100+.(normal values are less than 1000) The other slightly increased from 44+ to 48+. Her doctor said that it did not matter very much, because basically these two were under the same category. But the improvement was not as so obvious as last Dec. But all her doctors were very satisfied with this result. Thank all the gods!

Uncle's visit / 舅舅的来访

My uncle will visit mama this coming 26th. He will bring my 2 cousins also. One of my cousins told mama when she called:”Uncle is so happy after he bought the tickets.” My uncle is not at all an emotional person. You can hardly tell what he’s thinking, but this time he failed to hide his feeling. Mama’s maid will go for a tour from the 23rd. It’s good that someone will come and take care of her. She is so excited yet worried. “It’s so embarrassing that we are not able to provide them with a decent place to stay.” Mama’s apartment is a 2-rm flat. One is occupied by my parents. If they come, Uncle needs a room. So my two cousins have to stay in the sitting room. Besides, the place is not very clean and neat after mama’s illness. That’s why mama always has mixed feelings when she hears that someone will come to visit her. This is already the third time that my Uncle has come to see her. The first time was at the beginning of 2008. He came with my Auntie (mama’s eldest sister) who passed away slightly more than one year ago, also due to cancer (sad, cry, cry). The second time was at the end of the year before. My other Auntie (mama’s youngest sister) also came to see her three times. Each time she came, she gave mama ￥5000 and bought lots of things for her. She seldom did any household chores since she was the youngest of the family and had always been very willful. But when she was visiting mama, she always tried to help since she knew mama’s problems. She is a nun. So she always prays for mama and conducted some Buddhist’s rituals for mama. When she heard mama is getting better now, she was very happy. “Hmm, this is the glory of the Buddha and you are getting better after reciting the scripts and prayers .” She always makes long distance calls to mama and recites the script for her. She also encouraged mama to do that herself. Besides 3 of them, my other 3 cousins also visited mama about two years ago. Each of them only stayed for about 2 days’ and never helped mama. That’s why mama was very disappointed in them. She supported them economically by sending them ￥15 each month for about 15 years when they were young. (Her total salary at that time was ￥56) Now it seems that they have forgotten all about her .
Now mama is very excited. Yesterday she called my other cousin. She told me that he was also very happy to visit her. “I’m happy that I have this chance to come, since Uncle paid everything. Why not?” I hope that they will have a good time there .

Year End Checkup / 年终检查

今年底，我再度回家陪妈妈去作了一次彻底的检查，结果总的来说还不错，各项指标都合格，特别是一项标志着癌症的指数从原来的80+下降到44（正常人为35以下），CT扫描也显示肿瘤缩小了。妈妈加油！

This year end, I accompanied mama to have her complete check up. Generally speaking, the results were quite encouraging, especially her results for cancer index which had dropped from 80+ to 44 (normal people should be below 35). The scan also showed her tumor was shrinking. Good job, mama!